On my Road to Healing (Part 3) : Depression Meds

cp1_6548-greenSo if you read my last post I learned I needed to love myself and stop looking for others to love me in replace of that.

Since then, when I start to say something mean to myself I stop and realize what I’m doing and kick the Gollum aside and let the nice Smeagle side of me say something more encouraging.

Although going to the ARP Meetings has been helping, I finally decided to get extra help with being prescribed Depression Medication. I don’t know why it was so hard to finally allow myself to get help in that way. I may believe too much in alternative medicine that I may discredit modern day medicine more than I should. (Growing up in a Hippie town will do that to ya 🙂 )

My Doctor was very kind and understanding and left the decision up to me. She told me I had very good insights and she was impressed about how self aware I was so she wanted me to choose what I wanted to do. In the end I basically realized I had nothing to lose and the only thing that was holding me back was probably Social Stigmas but mostly it was feeling like I was relying on a pill for happiness which I know in the end won’t make me happy but I also know that it can help me.

I’ve struggled with depression consistently since I was in the 7th grade. I thought if I’ve dealt with it so long, why take medicine now? But if anything, now is so crucial because I have a family of my own that depends on me and I need to be better not only for me, but for them. I need to love myself for me and for them.

She said it takes about a month for me to start feeling the changes. I honestly hope it happens sooner because this week has been so dark and dreery and lonely and miserable and the worst part is, my life is not darka nd dreery and lonely and miserable! That’s why depression sucks my friends. I am so ready for it to be done. But I keep telling myself to be patient with myself and allow myself to just accept that this time will be hard, but I need to be kind to myself and understand I am not well. I need to be as loving as my true friends are to me.

So that’s all I have to say really. I dont’ want to sound so dang sad and pathetic but I want to be real. I’m having a hard time. I know others are too. And I’m grateful for my husband, my son, my good friends and God. I’m also grateful I’m on my side too now, or at least I’m trying to be!


6 thoughts on “On my Road to Healing (Part 3) : Depression Meds

  1. It wasn’t until I saw my little children being affected by my depression that I finally got professional help. They helped save my life. Now even after all the years (my kids are in their 40’s) I protect my mental health at all cost. Because the price was big to get well. You go girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s true!! My Dr. told me if I had a thyroid problem I would have no issues getting thyroid medicine. Why are we so hesitant to help our mind and body cope with depression?? So glad you sought out help too 🙂


  2. I know what’s it’s like to be in darkness so deep you don’t care if you ever come out. I’ve been learning a lot this past year about myself and about my health. A friend of mine started helping research gut health and an all natural, plant-based supplement called, Plexus. It’s made a huge impact in my life! I know that there are meds that can help but, I also know that herbs are for the use of man. God put them here for a reason and he guides doctors to create life saving medications and procedures. I’m very thankful that I’ve been able to find a natural way to begin to heal my body and get to the root of my mental and health issues. …my husband’s progress with his pornography addiction hasn’t hurt either 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love alternative options and totally agree that gut health is so essential. I really benefit when I stick closely to the whole30 for me because of my addiction to sugar and soy and dairy make me feel heavy sometimes. also so glad he’s working on his pornography addiction-way to be his cheerleader and stick by him! ❤


  3. There are 3 ways of surviving in a system: fighting against the system, supporting the system or being a part of the system. And if the system is corrupt, there’s no way out for honest people. But God gives the hardest battles to his toughest soldiers, and I’m grateful to God and my family for having faith in me and giving me strength to move on.

    P.S. I love your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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