It may be a bit surprising, but those who are closest to me, know very little about my past of being a victim of sexual abuse. Honestly, I rarely talk about it. If I do I just mention it to bring up a point then move on. It’s rarely on my mind and if it is, it’s not for very long. I’m telling you this because I have healed so well and quickly from the abuse.
To give you a quick background for about 5 years I was in and out of abusive relationships, mostly unaware of how I was being “abused.” I knew I wasn’t being treated well but I just thought if someone forcefully raped you that was abuse, not what I had been through. You can read more about it here.
My point today though is how I moved on from it. I remember sitting in the room and my counselor explained to me that I had been sexual abused and I was in shock, not wanting to believe him. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I had let myself get into that situation over and over again. But once I knew what was going on, I knew how to avoid it, I knew why I was feeling the way I had and this dark cloud of confusion was lifted.
Once I realized what had happened I felt disgusted and didn’t want to feel ashamed or gross or hurt. I wanted to move on and not look back. Luckily for me I grew up in a church that understands how to let Christ heal your wounds. Not only was Christ able to heal me, but He helped me feel hopeful and strong as well. It was a miracle how fast it happened and I really didn’t feel the pains of what happened after that ever again. It was a weight lifted, and it remained lifted. (more on that story here)
I’m telling you this because I see so many people today hurt, bitter, and angry from what has happened to them or a loved one.
They can’t seem to let go. To them it seems that if they don’t let go of their anger that the perpetrator gets away with it. That they have to continue to be angry and call people names and blame them for their situation. Everyone has done this to some extent. I still do this in some issues I have not healed from. But in this area of my life, I’ve been healed..I feel no anger. Not even a little bit. It’s the least painful part of my life because I let it go, moved on, and used the Atonement to heal my wounds.
You don’t have to be an abuse victim to understand the kind of pain and anger you can feel. It could be anything you are harboring anger over. But I know if you keep blaming others, calling them names, being a victim of your situation, YOU WILL NEVER OVERCOME YOUR WOUNDS.
Doing those things never does any good for you or anyone else. It just continues to hurt, continues to make you angry, and honestly you just need to let it go. You may not want to, but I promise it feels so good when you do. I know others have been through worse than what I’ve been through-but that doesn’t mean that what I went through wasn’t scary and horrible too.
We all have different scars and wounds and times when others were cruel to us. But if we all can just move on, forgive them, let God handle it, we would all be at more peace in this world. I can promise you that.