The Miracle of Being able to Forgive


DSC_2748alyssa&masonI’ve been contemplating a lot about how hurtful it can be when others are ungrateful for all you do for them.  I easily get offended. It’s a daily, sometimes hourly occurrence for me. I don’t know if it happens because people say hurtful things to me because of my more loud-ish type of personality, or that I am not as secure in myself as I should be, or a combo of the two. Everyone seems to be always a work in progress.

If I keep living my life in a way that I keep searching for reasons why people are ungrateful and mean to me, I’ll continually prove my theory right-that everyone is mean and ungrateful. But that’s the problem right there-I’m searching for it. Always on the look out for anyone that is mean or bratty.

See, I grew up in the South. We said Yes Ma’am, were taught to look someone in the eye, and always open the door for another. We said please and thank you or we didn’t get what we wanted. We knew how to be polite and we knew if we weren’t, we didn’t want the consequence. Now I’m not saying people in other places aren’t polite. But in the south it is definitely a priority, or at least it was when I was growing up. All I’m sayin is, maybe that’s why I notice it so much, because it was engrained into me that that is how you treat others. No matter how angry you are, or if you’ve had a bad day-you’re polite and respectful and grateful. Or Mama will show you how to be grateful!

Today a friend was rude to me and it hurt my feelings. Yesterday I read an extremely hurtful text someone sent about me, to the person’s phone as I was holding it. The day before, someone was so rude to me when I went above and beyond for them and I couldn’t believe they were acting that way. I could go on and on.

But it’s got to stop. I can’t let this hurt me anymore. After my husband held me as I cried over the mean text I realized I felt better and decided it was time to move past it.

I chose to let go of the bitterness.

This morning as I got ready for church I prayed that I would not harbor ill feelings anymore. There’s no point in holding onto them. I noticed I instantly felt better and almost lighter!

I chose to forgive.

This afternoon the thought popped into my head again about the mean thing my friend said to me and I started to feel confused again on why she did that and bla bla bla. But then I stopped. I hated feeling that way. This wasn’t a life or death situation. It was just life. People say dumb things. People don’t realize what they do or don’t do. It’s not all about me, and I need to let it go.

The miracle is that we can actually forgive. Of course all these examples are rather trivial in the grand scheme of things. But forgiveness doesn’t have a scale on which we measure whether or not we forgive-we are commanded to forgive even 70 x 70 times.

The miracle of forgiveness is that the problem may not even be fixed when we choose to forgive. They may not change at all. They may continue on their life being the silly person they are-but we aren’t hurt anymore. We can be free of that pain.

My life I’ve had things I’ve had to go through that were big-big big. But when I forgave, the pain went too. You need to forgive. Don’t let yourself linger on those mean thoughts anymore. Don’t let yourself soak up all the hate and anger and lash it out on someone else. Just let it go. Say a prayer, and let God help you let it go. He will! He will take care of it so we don’t have to.

Sometimes all we want is justice, validation, and someone to tell us what we want to hear. But sometimes it ain’t gonna happen. So we got to just let it go.

Forgive and enjoy the forgiveness!

You’d be impressed how well you can forgive when you try. It’s easier than you’d think too with a humble prayer and the right attitude. When those hurtful thoughts sneak back in, push them out with a song and think of something else. Jump up and distract yourself with an activity or go on a run. Get rid of those thoughts! Ain’t no one got time for that. 🙂

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