Before we begin.. I hope you know you’re awesome too!
A few days ago I was on the phone with a friend of mine I have known since I was in 3rd grade. Every time I talk to her I feel like she is one of the few people on this Earth that truly knows me. It’s crazy how she is so perceptive and will tell me things about myself that I didn’t even realize. She’s an awesome friend like that.
But one thing she told me during this recent talk struck me in a very good way.
She told me that whenever I’ve been wrong or done something wrong, I’ve admitted it, and then I seek to change it or improve myself.
I had never realized that about myself before. But she’s right. I am never complacent with myself. Ever grateful, never satisfied, as they say.
I do know I will try my darndest to become the best child of God I can be. That means I strive to be obedient to all the commandments. I strive to be the best wife and loving mother. I’m not above realizing I’ve said something wrong-and I often will apologize for it. If I see a part of myself that could be better-I seek for outside help. If I need words of encouragement, I’ll ask for it. These are my talents that I didn’t realize I had until 2 days ago, thanks to this awesome friend.
This is why:
1) It’s so dang important to compliment people and tell them their strengths, and
2) It’s important to acknowledge our own strengths.
As I assume a lot of us were taught growing up: bragging is not flattering.
It’s not becoming to acknowledge our talents or gifts and it’s never ok to let others know that you have these gifts. If someone were to compliment you-you must instantly shut it out because you will become prideful and haughty and egotistical. You must reply with a jab at yourself so this person does not ever think that you could possibly think well of yourself.
Of course this is all ridiculous.
You are not only allowed to feel good about yourself, but it is ESSENTIAL to achieve all that you were meant to achieve.
But truthfully, if someone tells you their talents and you think,
“They are just bragging omg they are so conceited.”
It’s probably because you are insecure and resent the fact that they are perhaps, not.
So my message to you today is:
Let yourself love yourself. Totally and completely love yourself.
It’s ok to love things about yourself. It’s ok to tell yourself you are good at something. It’s ok to even let others know you know this about yourself. And it’s ok to tell others about these talents.
Think about it. When we love someone, we tell them how amazing they are. We compliment them and tell them how much we love them constantly. (Uh, at least I do..) We tell everyone about how amazing they are, we can’t shut up about them. (Just ask any of my friends how I tell them about Josh and Peter, it’s embarrassing)
We cheer them on when they are doing well, we encourage them to keep going when they feel down. We forgive them when they think they cannot be forgiven. We tell them how good looking and cute and smart and funny they are.
When we love someone, we treat them like the royalty they are.
So why can’t we do the same to ourselves??
Our talents help us help others. They make the world a more beautiful place.
When we uplift and encourage ourselves, we pave the way ourselves to become who we want to be, do what we want to do, and succeed all we need to succeed. There is NOTHING stopping us, but the person who keeps telling us constantly we can’t do it. (Ourselves)
I mean let’s be real-look at Kanye West. He has told himself he’s amazing a bazillion times. He knew he was gonna make it before anyone else believed he was gonna make it. He tells other people he’s amazing and yes, it’s obnoxious and not what we are going for maybe BUT my point is-HE HAS ACHIEVED HIS DREAMS. He has accomplished everything he’s set out to-even married the girl of his dreams. (Seriously he was a stalker before he married her and would put his face on her family’s Christmas cards every year..yes it’s super creepy but the dude knows how to get what he wants) Kanye may have gotten in the way of Taylor at the MTV Music Awards but he never got in the way of his dreams! 😀 (I love you Taylor!!!)
Speaking of Kanye..
Conceit is created from lack of confidence.
When I was not receiving the kind of love and support from myself I should have gave, I decided (subconsciously) to convince myself I was better than others and that would give me the confidence I needed. If I was better at something than someone else that must mean I was good right? If I looked better than someone else in a group photo that must mean I’m pretty right? It’s sad, it’s pathetic, but it’s the ugly truth.
So this is what you do.
You stop telling yourself over and over again in your mind all the things wrong with yourself. Instead, you give yourself kind compliments. If you look great one day don’t wait all day for someone else to tell you, smile confidently in the mirror and say I am beautiful! (Or handsome..whatever floats your boat)
If you did well on a test, tell yourself that you did great and you did earn that and worked hard for that.
It doesn’t even have to be a big thing or a special day, you should be telling yourself positive uplifting things every day..and to others as well.
Our own achievements have nothing to do with other’s achievements, or lack of. Our self worth is not based on anyone else.
If you learn to compliment yourself instead of doing the beat yourself up thing that is socially ok, you will find that confidence will grow inside you.
And since when has society been right about..anything?
A lot of people religious people will say it only matters what God thinks of you and yes it is pretty important what He thinks, but it’s also pretty important that you love yourself too. (If He loves you, you can love yourself too!)
That means you forgive yourself when you do something wrong and you’ve made amends.
That means you allow yourself to make mistakes that you didn’t mean to do like saying something embarrassing in public, or not doing your best work.
That also means that you can tell others about these accomplishments, your goals, your talents, and your ups and downs!
Who said we all had to pretend to hate ourselves anyways?
People can honestly sense when you are being confident or pathetically cocky. (Kanye?) They can sense when you are being genuine or insincere.
When I was in college my roommates and I would come home and have a “bragging moment” at the end of our day. That meant we could come home, brag about something awesome we did with no guilt and everyone would all cheer us on while we told our story! It was such a fun and exciting moment to be rooted for and to let yourself be happy for yourself! This was such a fun tradition to me because I was taught to never to cheer on anything I did. If I did something good to hide it and not tell anyone because they may be jealous or think I was being arrogant. But I wasn’t. This tradition has now just become who I am. I tell people when I had a great day-and ask about theirs! I cheer on their accomplishments and encourage them to be proud of themselves. (We do it a lot in the class I teach on Sundays!)
Loving ourselves may be one of the hardest lessons we learn in this life. But it’s also the key to happiness as well. We can’t love someone fully and hate ourselves. We can’t achieve our dreams if we keep telling ourselves that we can’t do it.
So to show you believe me, write in the comments below your bragging moment of the day/ week/ month/ year..whenever! I’d love to hear it. 🙂
Now go love you! And tell someone else why you love them too!