It was really really really hard not to write Josh letters after I told him I needed to stop writing him. I knew I needed to give my mission my whole heart or I would regret it. Lots of people after my mission have told me they had no idea I had a boy waiting for me..and I am so glad they felt that way. I had waited my whole life to serve a mission and I didn’t want to spend it wishing I was home with that boy. However, when it came up on our anniversary (July 4th) I finally prayed and asked God if he could please just have Josh write me something to let me know he was thinking of me. It was one of the more selfish prayers on my mission haha. I just needed to know he remembered me on that day. I warned my companion Sis. Stohel that that day may be hard for me and we needed to keep ourselves occupied, which we did.
It was busy day and it wasn’t until the very end of the day that I began to get sad and wish I was with that boy watching the fireworks going off for Independence Day like the year before. But, in the midst of my feeling sorry for myself my neighbor Becky came outside with everyone else in the street to watch the fireworks going off. She stood by my companion and I and said “Oh wowwww, look at those! Purple stars!!! Oh beautiful.”
(Watch the short video of Becky and us watching the fireworks below)
I laughed and couldn’t be sad anymore. Becky is a hoot. Watching the fireworks with her was hilarious. She is just a funny lady. After the fireworks we headed inside. I thought about how I didn’t get my letter from Josh and worried that he was too hurt by me writing him off and had moved on or something. Just then we got a knock on our door..which never has happened to me before or after that night. As missionaries we don’t have visitors to our apartment, especially late at night.
It was a young teenage boy from our church. He was our neighbor and was very distraught. We sat outside and talked to him and reassured him he could be the guy he wanted to be, obedient. I forgot again all about Josh and was able to tell that boy about my life and how we can all make mistakes but come back from them. After our talk we could tell he felt a lot better and headed home. I felt so good after that, doing what I came out here to do, to help other people feel God’s love for them. I went to bed happy and not feeling lonely but grateful for being able to be a missionary and having opportunities like that.
The next day we went about our little missionary lives like normal but then when we came home, I saw peeking out of the mailbox Josh’s stamps. He always put at least 4 stamps on a letter so his envelopes were easy to spot.
When I opened the mailbox there it was. It was an answer to my prayer. I hadn’t received one letter from Josh since I told him not to which had been quite a few months. When I read the letter Josh even said he was sorry for writing me but felt he needed too. I was like yup, God wants us together it’s for sure.
Some people tell me that there isn’t one person for everyone, that is true and fine. But if you ask me I can tell you about my experiences with Josh where I felt so strongly that it was right. There are four distinct times where I felt the Spirit about Josh confirm we were meant to be like when it confirmed the Church was true. Those experiences are extremely personal and sacred to me. I can’t deny they happened. People tell me you can’t include God like that in who you marry because you could marry anyone and make it work. But I’m here to tell you God does care, He told me. To me that is such a wonderful feeling to fall back on when I get frustrated or annoyed with Josh. There’s something deeper then just love between us, and I felt it the day I got that letter. Marriage is such an incredible experience, and to me I am so grateful that I don’t have to have any questions or doubts.
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