I went back to NC at the end of August. I left for the MTC in mid October so I went back to my old job working with children with special needs and trying to not miss Josh like crazy. He told me he wanted to come out to NC to visit me but I didn’t take him seriously until he told me he bought his plane tickets! It felt like the longest month of my life before he came out to see me..seriously. I just wanted to see him or get goin with my mission already! I love my hometown and I loved my job..but I really was anxious to get this ball rollin.
He flew into the Charlotte airport so I drove the 2 hours or so to pick him up. I had gotten him a few gifts for when he came. I went to the mall with my friend Liza and we picked out a cologne Kenneth Cole Reaction. I spent my nights watching The District videos for my mission prep and making him bracelets. I was going to make him just one but I ended up making like 10.
As I sat in my Mom’s mini van waiting for him getting off the plane my anxiety started to go wild thinking about what if the plane crashed or I dunno. Planes always make me worry about death a lot. But finally I saw him come outside with his suitcase int eh rearview mirror and I leapt out of the car. I felt like I was in a movie scene..do I run? Do I leap into his arms? It had only been a month but it felt like an eternity. I rushed over and hugged him and kissed him and melted in his arms. Everyone should experience a love like this. It is bliss.
He loved his gifts and his new scent and that smell will forever remind me of that wonderful 4 days we had together one last time. I saved my bigger gift I got him for later.
The first day my mom of course wanted to play tour guide. She took us to Chimney Rock and Chick-Fil-A. At Chimney Rock we met a couple there who wanted us to take their picture. Their accent was clearly German but Josh told them they had a cool accept and asked them if they were form Australia (he knew they were from Germany). They were really annoyed and said, “No we are from Germany.” I said, “Oh my mom taught me some German she says all the time: Shiza!” They looked shocked and my mom was so embarrassed and as they walked away I yelled shiza again at them and my mom smacked me on the leg and laughed. You just can’t take Josh and Cody anywhere mom haha.
After that day I had to take Josh contra dancing! If you’ve never been it is a blast! I describe it as a mix of swing dancing with country line dancing. Josh was awful at it and it was hilarious because all the hippies get really into it and get annoyed if you aren’t good at it and ruin the synchronized dancing. I just kept laughing and thought of course it was so cute that he was a horrible contra dancer. The first time is really overwhelming but you can catch on after a few times.
We also had to experience the good’ol Asheville friday night drum circle! It’s where a ton of people bring their bongo and sit on these steps and anyone who wants can come and dance. It was entertaining as usual..especially the crazy man who was trying to dance on Liza and follow us everywhere oh Asheville..
One night I took Josh up to ‘the cut’ which I think is the best view of the city. That’s where he pulled out a box and..nope didn’t propose haha he gave me a new watch! It was one I wore every day of my mission 🙂
Josh stayed the night in my room and I slept in my mom’s room. The mattresses I slept on as kid I found out..were my Dad’s as a kid! So needless to say..they were old. One had a huge dent in the middle of it and the spring would stab you as you slept so I went and got at least one new mattress (I had twin beds that I would push together). But Josh knew from me talking about the mattresses that I slept on a old one and one morning I found him sleeping on that old mattress! I told him we had bought that new one just for him before he came to visit and he said, “But you sleep on this one.” Haha he would kill me for telling you that. What a sap! I liked to wake Josh up with the dogs so in the morning I would say, “Go wake up Josh!” and my dogs would run to my bedroom and jump on his bed and lick his face. It was so fun having him around.
Ryder and my Dad really warmed up to Josh quickly. Ryder wouldn’t leave us alone. One day Ryder got home from shooting with my Dad and sat down and told us all about his shooting and gave us all of his bullet shells. Then Josh and I went to go watch a movie and Ryder kept trying to get Josh’s attention and showed him all of his treasures he had in his treasure box. My Dad would come upstairs and say, “Josh! Come check this out!” then they’d disappear together for ten minutes and Josh would come back. “Josh come check out this bird outside!” haha oh Dad. He came to visit me people!! 🙂
To me the funniest reaction people had to Josh was when he went to church with me on Sunday. My little branch has known that I have always wanted to serve a mission so a month before I am supposed to go into the MTC I show up with a boy..made people a little upset! It cracked me up. One guy blatantly said, “So who are you?” haha. Josh told me the entire time he was there, only one lady was nice to him! Which is super rare for our little church because they get sooo excited when someone new shows up! He said she was really sweet and said “Come on back anytime ya hear?” Love my home branch.
So this all came down to the last night we spent together. We went downtown and had some ice cream and sat by a new amphitheater and talked. I don’t remember much from the conversation except for one thing. I asked him why he wanted to be a Doctor. I was concerned he was just in it for the money and knew it was a lot of work and the drive for money would not be a good reason to put our future family through that. I also just was concerned he just wanted to be rich. Surprisingly his answer was incredibly tender it even brought him to tears. He told me that as a kid he hated asking his parents for money because his Dad worked so hard day after day and he knew that money wasn’t in abundance. He said that he loved his parents so much for all they did for him and he just wanted to be able to work hard for his kids as well. He said he hopes that his kids will be able to go to any school they want to and not be restricted because of money. He teared up as he told me, “I know I don’t have any kids right now, but I love them so much already..” And that’s the only time to this day I have seen my husband cry. It was one of our most sacred moments together and I share it with you in confidence. I knew that this boy would be an incredible father because I felt the exact same way about my future kids. I loved them already.
I drove Josh to the airport in the morning. When we got to the airport it felt pretty surreal. It didn’t feel like I wouldn’t see him again to close to 2 years. If I had really sat and thought about how long that really was I probably would have freaked out. Instead we both just felt peaceful and even happy. In case you are wondering, Josh never once asked me to stay. Of course he wanted me to, but he told me later he wasn’t about to ask me to put away my life long dream for him. He knew he was going to wait for me and said it would be worth it. When people make fun of the term soul mates and say it’s untrue I see where they are coming from. But then again I think, they maybe don’t know what it’s like to meet your soul mate and think..there really is no one else in this world like this.
So in case you missed my explanation before, I wasn’t leaving Josh because I didn’t want to get married. I wasn’t going on a mission for fun or to travel..I was going because of my faith. See there comes a time in every person’s life where they try to figure out why they are on this planet..what is this all about. For me I prayed and asked God directly. And that’s why I went on my mission because I knew what I knew..was true.
So as Josh walked into the airport and I drove off I only cried a few tears and then let him go. Josh told me he felt the same way. He couldn’t be sad because he we knew it was right.
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