I’ve had enough of my girlfriends dating losers. I’ve had enough of them making excuses for their boys not treating them well, not calling, not caring enough.. or not doing much at all. Yet, my beautiful, smart, fun girlfriends still are dating these bozos. Everyone knows I got lucky and only had to date Josh to find my winner but we can all pretend that I dated losers before and understand where they’re coming from.
So if I had dated losers in the past I would know what it feels like to wait for their texts..try to keep your eyes off the phone and distract myself with anything but thinking of them. I would know how it felt to be lied to..to be put off for something else and to be rescheduled for another night. Why would I keep putting up with it after a couple times? Why does anyone do it? I’m sure it is different from person to person. Hypothetically for me it would be that I just didn’t know how amazing I was. I probably wouldn’t know that there was someone out there worth my time. Someone who wouldn’t play mind games with me. I probably would have learned that if I kept dating guys who were hott and fun but a tool..I would end up with a boy who acted like..a tool.
Weird how that works.
So if I had gone through this time and time again it probably was frustrating for others to watch. I bet it would have been helpful if I read the book, “He’s Just Not that Into You” and realized holy crap! He’s just not that into me. But of course, it probably would take awhile to sink in. It probably would have slowly helped me put up with less crap and respect myself more..but how can a girl help who she likes?
This is the problem.
Girls put up with a lot of crap when they like a boy. It’s not just that he’s cute or fun to be with..you like him. It makes you feel good when he does take the time to text you, and hang out with you. You make excuses for the way he acts because you like him so much. Or at least, you’re not lonely. You feel loved from time to time and so you keep it up. You’re comfortable..scared to move on. Scared to let go and worry if you’ll ever find love again. Don’t worry girl, you will, and love that will not make you insecure but empower you.
A guy that is worth it won’t need you to make excuses for him.
See, I didn’t get that a boy if he really liked me, he would drop everything to be with me. I knew I would do that for a guy I cared about, and had. Even my girlfriends at times would blow me off..I figured it was just me who was considerate and awesome. (haha) But that’s not true. That’s why I’m writing this. You are lying to yourself if you are still with this guy. Find the one that’s worth it. I know plenty of guys right now who are awesome, kind, upstanding men, who may be good looking (I couldn’t say because I’m married and am not attracted to any other being) that would treat you right..he’s out there. So why waste your time feeling this way? It’s not healthy for you. It doesn’t feel good. He’s using you and manipulating you. Just face it. You can and WILL do better..IF you drop this boy right now.
I know it’s hard. I know it’s scary..but I’m serious. I’m not the only girl in this world who can find an actually great guy. And no he’s not perfect..don’t wait for perfect because honey, you ain’t perfect either. But Josh didn’t lose his phone or forget to call me or whatever the excuses may be. When I was out of town he would text me. When I came back to town he was there the minute I got back..no matter how late it was. (That sounds kinda like a stalker but it was cute)
So get this through your gorgeous head:
IF HE LIKES YOU HE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. YOU ARE WORTH IT TO HIM.
I know you may not believe it..but he does. The he that’s awesome not the he you’re with now or want to text right now because you’re lonely. The he that will sing songs in the car to you even though he is extremely insecure about his voice. The boy who will bring you a flower that he stole from somebody’s yard and you think that’s adorable. The he that is better then even those cheesy chick flick boys! You’ll find your own cute boy that does sweet things for you.
Guys are pretty simple usually with whether or not they like you. They may not tell you, but if they do like you..it will be pretty clear. If they don’t..that’s when they give mixed signals. It’s not that they dislike you or anything it’s just they aren’t making you their priority.and perhaps never will. With Josh and I, he still wanted to be with me and spend every minute with me even though I told him I was leaving to serve a mission in a few months. He didn’t care. I mean he did but it was worth it to him to be with me regardless! (Read more about Josh & I here)
So get your copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. Because..he’s not. You deserve better. It’s not you: it’s him. You don’t suck: he does. You are great. I don’t know if I can make it more simple. If he cared, he would do something about it. If he wanted to be with you, he would. If he loved you, he would tell you. If he wanted to date you he would do it now and not wait for another time. Move on girl. There are better things waiting for you ahead if you would just respect yourself and not settle for someone who occasionally realizes how amazing you are to him.
This isn’t a sad thing..it’s to help you move on and be happier. This is about YOU. Your happiness.You need to find someone that makes you even happier. That strives to be your best friend. Moving on from these losers is letting yourself be free.
Just go read that book. It’s really good. I learned a lot. They are straightforward and honest in it. I’ve never seen the movie but I heard it’s funny. The book is educational ha it will change your life for the better. For real. Or maybe this blog did. You’re welcome.
I just want my girlfriends to have an awesome husband like I have. But not mine, find another.
Now I want to close with words from Madea. Please watch this video by clicking on the link below: (Seriously watch it..it’s worth it.)
Skip to 4:30 for the good stuff.
Some of the hightlights..
“It’s ok cry about it but don’t stay there too long. Get up and go on with your life.
If somebody wanna walk out of your life: Let them go.
Especially if you know you’ve done the best you can be.
Some people come for a lifetime and some come for a season.
Let folks go.
Ain’t nobody said it would be easy. But it will get easier when you learn how to love yourself.
If you tell them, this thing you doin right here is a problem you gotta fix that. If you don’t we gonna have a problem. If you see somebody fix it or at least trying that’s somebody that cares. But if you tell somebody that what you doin is hurtin and they don’t fix it then they don’t care. Move on, let them go.
Everyday will get easier and easier. People have to learn how to be alone. Shut up and wait. Go work on you. That’s what that time is for.
I’d rather be on the corner with a puppy and a goldfish and be happy than have somebody in my house and wonder what they’re there for. You would be surprised what people put up with just to have somebody say they love them. “