If you read the post before this one (How I almost ruined it all) you may be wondering how fate stepped in to save me from just leaving Josh in the dust and moving on with my merry life! Well it actually happened the next day after I had decided I was no longer going to spend time with Josh Lowery. I called up my friend Alicia whom was living in Rexburg at the time while I was in Logan. She was preparing for a mission as well and I told her I broke ties with Josh because I wanted to focus on my mission. I remember she was suprised and asked why I did that. I told her we are going on missions I don’t have time or want to worry about silly boys! The last thing I wanted was some boy trying to keep me from serving a mission or distracting me while on a mission. I wanted to give my mission 100% and not give boys the time of day.
Something you have to understand is that Alicia is one of those friends who are just wise..they make smart decisions and do good things. I on the otherhand tend to make dumb decisions so having someone like ALicia in my life is very helpful. I thought she would say: “Good I’m glad you dropped that boy, you need to just focus and start preparing for the life of an 18 month nun.” But instead she said: “What? Hang out with him! Have fun!” Wait..what? I said “But Alicia! What if I kiss him?!” Her response, “SO KISS HIM!”
I was dumbfounded.
This was coming from Alicia. My own personal jiminy cricket was telling me to just go kiss a boy and then head out to serve the Lord. I honestly can’t remember the rest of the conversation at all except for when I finally agreed to hang out with Josh again. I remember she said to go hang out with him. I said a bunch of my friends were playing soccer that night and she said “Invite him!” So, I did. Lucky for me I decided to listen to Alicia this time because in the past I hadn’t and it got me in trouble. So in a way, I owe Alicia big time. She’s the reason that boy is sitting next to me write now doing his homework. If it wasn’t for her, I really don’t know how this would have worked out. So consider this a big huge ginormous thank you Alicia.
Right after I got off the phone with her I texted Josh. I was 100% confident that he would still come to hang out with me. I figured he didn’t pick up on my hints the night before anyways so I had nothing to worry about. I was wrong! Josh was really ticked at me. He told me later that he got the point loud and clear that I was done with him and in his mind he was done too then. When I texted him to invite him to play soccer he thought, “Who does this girl think she is? There is no way I am going to hang out with her after how she treated me last night.” He said he didn’t like being played with like that and had no intention of going. He came up with some excuse but I kept pestering him and convinced him to bring his friends along too. He told me he finally gave in because I just kept asking him so many times so he wanted to see what was up. In my mind there was no way he wasn’t coming because I knew he liked me so duh, of course he would come. And he did.
He showed up with a few of his friends and we all played some soccer with some kids from my singles ward. I had no idea Josh was mad at me at all, I guess I was just so dang cocky. When it became so dark we could no longer play, everyone started to head home. ALthough I had plenty of friends that could drive me home, I walked up to Josh by his car and said, “Josh, you’re taking me home!” He told me later he was a tad annoyed by this and thought, “There are ten other people here, get a ride with one of them.” But luckily his friends told me to hop in and gave me the front seat. Josh started driving me home but his friends told me they were all headed to Village Inn that night for free pie night. I made a comment to Josh of how it was too bad I had to go home now because I didn’t have to work the next day..he finally gave in and took me with them to Village Inn. In his mind he thought, “No way am I taking this girl to Village Inn! I am going to take her home and show her she can’t just toy me around.”
But he did. Cody-2 Josh-0
At Village Inn I tried to show him that I had let my guard down. I was interested. He noticed and we had so much fun together. I can’t tell you who was with us or what they said. I just remember Josh was making me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants, literally. Probably because he kept making me chug my water and then filling it back up again. Later that night I had to get up around 3AM because I had to pee so badly. He was pleased with himself about that. He told me he could tell I put my wall down that night. He could tell there was something different. I went home that night and I remember being on a cloud. I was pretty diligent about writing in my journal at that time so that night when I wrote in my journal, I finally admitted to myself how I felt and wrote:
“I have a crush on this boy”
And that ladies and gents, is when I finally began to allow myself to fall for him.
July 1, 2010 “Yesterday I was invited me to come play soccer with the singles ward. I just love it. Afterwards I went with Josh, Kellen, and Nate to Village Inn to meet some of his friends there. It was so fun. Mainly because Josh cracks me up. He’s def one of the funniest kids alive. I love hanging out with him! he’s sweet too. He’ll open the door for me and always walks me to my door..I always feel awkward at the door cuz I’m terrified he’s gonna kiss me! But he’s so fun and I can’t get enough of him. Just texting me he cracks me up. Saturday he wants me to get off work and go Cliff Jumping but I have to work..and I really don’t have the desire to do that haha. I gotta go paint him a gold star like I promised him I would cuz I wasn’t tired at work after we went swimming one night. Haha. Oh man, I have a crush on this boy.”
I’m pretty sure I listened to this song that night and felt butterflies in my stomach like a little school girl. I’m not ashamed 🙂